Mugen's Amazing Work of Genius
by Robin Siskin
Summary: Because even deadbeats, albeit very manly deadbeats, can have amazing works of genius, you know. [Cheap, Mindless, Senseless, OOC humor][Most definitely AU]


_Mugen woke up from a very manly sleep. He was very manly. He was so manly, in fact, that he killed an old man once because the old man claimed that had a better beard than Mugen did. True story. _

_All the babes loved Mugen. Especially the babes with big tits. Those ones loved him the best. In fact, the babes with big tits loved him so much that they tried to kill him sometimes – that's just how manly he was. True story. _

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Mugen sat back and admired his handiwork. Writing was definitely the best thing he had ever decided to do. Now, when he died, people could still see how incredibly awesome and manly he was.

But how would he continue the plot? It gets boring just watching a guy own ass and get laid all the time.

As he was pondering this road-block (a minor one, to be sure), Jin and Fuu walked in, their arms full of groceries.  
"I'm home," they said in unison, Jin's voice decidedly bland, Fuu's voice decidedly bright.

And then, it hit him.

He would include some losers like them in his story! That would give him something very unmanly to contrast against his uber-manliness, and keep everyone interested. With his mind full of ideas, he went back to writing.

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_Jin woke up from a very gay sleep. He was very gay. He was so gay, in fact, that he looked kind of like a chick with his hair down and he would probably have hot flashes and mood swings when he turned fifty. Probably. He was also so gay that Fuu was all over him, because of course she digs chicks and when all the other lesbians are busy having hot lesbian sex for the viewing pleasure of the manly Mugen, she has to take what she can get: gay guys. _

_All the flat-chested chicks loved Jin, probably. Mugen was glad that they loved him, because that meant that he wouldn't have to waste his own time rejecting them. Damn life rocked for Mugen. _

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As Mugen read over what he had for his story so far, rubbing his chin and grinning a (very manly) grin, Fuu came up behind him.  
"What are you doing? Dinner's ready."  
"Quit reading over my shoulder, woman! And bring me some of that dinner."  
"Fine, fine…" Fuu went off, muttering to herself as she did, and Mugen drew a small, (very manly) version of himself in the corner of his paper. Jin and Fuu would have said it was poorly drawn. Mugen would have said they were gay.

Now that he had a protagonist and some antagonists, he didn't know what his plot would be about. As he pondered the question, Fuu came into the room carrying some of the food she probably dug up from the gutter for dinner, tripped, and dumped it all over him. Sometimes the world had to be gay, too.

And then it hit him. The manliest idea ever.

He would write about what happened to him. It was perfect! Mugen, the world's manliest man, plagued by the gayest people in the world and the gayest events ever as the gay world tries to force its gayness upon him!

So, instead of yelling and carrying on as he might have, he set to writing.

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_The gay Jin and the flat-chested Fuu came in the door carrying groceries. In one of the bags of groceries that the gay Jin was carrying was an enormous loaf of bread. It was seriously a very manly loaf of bread – not as manly as Mugen, but still pretty manly._  
"_I'm home," the gay Jin and the flat-chested Fuu said, and the manly Mugen frowned at them, because manly people frown a lot._  
"_Compensating for something there, Jin?" he asked. He was ignored. Gay people tend to ignore manly people; they can't handle a conversation with someone of such great manliness because it will strip the flesh away from their bones and expose them for what they really are: gay, evil balls of pink fluff with black holes for hearts. _

_Later, the gay Jin and the flat-chested Fuu finished making dinner (that was the one thing the un-manly people were good for), and tried to call him over to eat some. The manly Mugen would rather eat alone than with very unmanly people, and expressed these feelings to the flat-chested Fuu. Because she wasn't manly, she caved into his commands easily and brought some food to him. But because she was clumsy, the flat-chested Fuu spilled the food all over him._  
"_Bitch, what the hell?" The manly Mugen jumped to his feet, because manly people jump to their feet in anger a lot, and the flat-chested Fuu crumbled under the fiery waves of his fury. It was like the radiation from the sun! He could see her skin crumbling off and turning black and her organs shriveling up into useless little crumbly things! The stench of burning hair filled the room! The food she had dumped on him evaporated! The room filled with a heavenly - no, hellish – aura! The light was so bright! Everyone who saw it must be blinded! Except for the manly Mugen, as he was manlier than them. _

_After even her ashes had crumbled into ashes, Mugen decided that he could kill the gay Jin now. Stalking into the other room, still radiating his glowing manly energy of the sun, like a guy off of Dragonball Z, except cooler, and better drawn, and with even gayer sidekicks, he set to owning the gay Jin._

_It did not take long. _

_As expected, the minute he opened his mouth, the gay Jin's flesh melted off of his bones to reveal his true form: a gay, evil ball of pink fluff with a black hole for a heart. With one well-placed kick, the gay, evil ball of pink fluff with a black hole for a heart was gone, and Mugen was alone with his manliness. He liked it better this way. Whistling, he called in a huge crowd of babes with huge boobs, and they got in a hot tub and had a huge orgy. Then he watched them have lesbian sex._

_It was very manly. _

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Mugen was very satisfied with his handiwork. Cracking his knuckles, he nodded to himself at his own genius.

By now, Fuu and Jin were done with dinner and were going about their own tasks. Jin was cleaning his swords, and Fuu was probably off taking a bath somewhere.

"Cleaning your sword, eh?" Mugen said, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest.  
Jin looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "…Yes." After a moment of silence he spoke again. "What are you doing over there, anyways?"  
"Trying to think of a title."  
"A title for what?"  
"For my amazing work of genius."  
"…oh."

The rest of the evening was very silent, broken only by the soft sound of blades being cleaned and, occasionally, a very small, evil chuckle from Mugen as he read and re-read his amazing work of genius, searching for the perfect title.

It wasn't until the next morning, when the three of them (plus Mugen's amazing work of genius) were heading out, that Mugen shouted "I've got it!"  
"What? What?" Fuu asked. "Got what?"  
"The title for my amazing work of genius!  
"I'm calling it Mugen and Juliet!"

The three of them walked off into the setting sun, and were never heard from again.

Joking.

Later, much of the plot of Mugen's amazing work of genius, Mugen and Juliet, was plagiarized by the so-called world's greatest poet, William Shakespeare.

What an asshole.

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A/N – Please don't kill me. I realize it's OOC and cheap and bad. All critique, constructive or otherwise, is completely and entirely unnecessary and unwanted and will be cheerfully ignored. This is purely for my own amusement and I am not looking to gain anything by it. If you are looking to offer critique, please visit one of my serious stories.


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